Real Men Respect, Not Abuse

The 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), observed annually from 25 November to 10 December, is not just a calendar event. It is a call to action – a plea for communities, individuals, and nations to stand united against one of the most pervasive human rights violations of our time.

Gender-based violence in South Africa paints a grim picture. According to the South African Police Service, thousands of women and children are subjected to abuse, assault, and even murder each year. GBV does not discriminate, it cuts across age, race, and socio-economic status. But what these numbers fail to capture is the long-term trauma endured by survivors, the families torn apart, and the silence that often perpetuates this cycle of violence.

The phrase real men don’t abuse carries a profound truth. Respect and empathy are the true measures of strength. A real man uplifts his partner, supports his children, and sets an example of integrity for his community. Real men recognise that power lies not in control or dominance but in compassion and equality.

Abuse is a choice, not an inevitable reaction. It stems from societal norms that glorify toxic masculinity and downplay accountability. It’s time to dismantle these outdated notions and replace them with values that promote healthy relationships and respect for all.

From awareness to action

• If you witness abuse, don’t turn a blind eye. Speak up, call it out, report it, and support the survivor.
• Educate yourself and others about the dangers of toxic masculinity and the importance of gender equality.
• Offer a listening ear and support to those who may be struggling in silence, be that safe space.
• Raise boys to respect women and girls to recognise their worth.

The Emotional Toll

Behind every statistic is a person, a mother, sister, child, or friend. Each survivor carries a story of pain, betrayal, and often, courage. Let us not forget that the ripple effects of GBV extend beyond the victim to families and communities.

A child growing up in a household where abuse occurs is more likely to continue the cycle. Breaking that cycle starts with men who choose respect over violence and communities that demand accountability.

Ending GBV isn’t just a male issue, it’s a human issue. It requires effort from everyone, to challenge behaviours and attitudes that condone abuse.

Imagine a world where men lead by example, creating safe spaces for women and children to thrive. That’s the future we must strive for.

During these 16 Days of Activism, we urge you to reflect on your role in creating a society free of GBV. Start conversations in your community, remember change begins with each of us. Let’s not just talk about it, let’s be about it.

If you or someone you know is experiencing GBV, reach out to local support organisations or helplines such as POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse) at 083 765 1235.

Let’s break the silence. Let’s end Gender-Based Violence.